I hope that all of my US readers survived turkey day! Although I had imagined a beautiful shot of the table, worthy of IG or Pinterest – THIS is what I got…which is just fine with me, because it is a far better representation of my life than some perfect image of the perfect table. There really is no perfection around here….
just striving to maximize the minimum:)
In the past, I have talked about things that I am grateful for – and looking back, it is usually people that I am most thankful for. My kids, my family, the amazing man I have in my life – these are the people that make my life feel fulfilled. They are the ones that are there to laugh with me, to help me find the funny in this crazy mixed up world MS has brought into our lives. They are there to hold my hand when I need to just let go and cry. They are what matters in life, and I am extremely thankful for not only having them in my life but that I am aware of just how valuable they are. After years of not knowing who I was or where I was going, I think I am finally beginning to feel I am right where I am meant to be.
This year, I am most thankful for cannabis. More specifically for the relief and increased quality of life that it has provided me with over the past year. I am coming up on my one year anniversary of trying to find relief from my chronic pain using cannabis. A year ago I had weaned myself off of each of the medications that had been prescribed by my doctor. Not because I was being rebellious in some way. Not that I had become “anti-big-pharma.” Not because I had this huge overwhelming urge to “go natural.” But because the drugs that were supposed to be helping reduce the pain, the pills that were supposed to be providing me with a better quality of life were doing neither. They no longer helped ease the pain, and in the meantime, they managed to mess up my body with negative side effects (weight gain, constipation, dry mouth, and depression to list a few) that were just lumped in with my other MS symptoms. I had reached a point that I no longer believed that there was something that could help. I had run out of hope.
Cannabis has brought hope back into my life. I have said, it is not a “cure-all” for me. I still have numerous MS symptoms that are annoying as shit. But I love the fact that I finally have some control over something pertaining to this disease. I may not know when the next flair up is going to strike. I may not know when my vision is going to go foggy and blurry and I may not know when my legs are going to give out and decide to not work. But through it all, I now have something that helps. It helps with the pain, it helps with the muscle cramping and spasticity and it helps with my mental health and outlook. In the past year I have had more and more days that I am excited to get up and start my day, that I look forward to getting out of bed and getting things done. I am once again looking forward to things. I am making plans and thinking about the future, rather than just trying to get through each and every day.
It has also managed to restore my interest in my own body. I have come to realize that I have been angry at my body. Ever since I was told I had MS I have been pissed off at it – for letting me down in such a major way. I did things right. I ate healthy, I exercised and was in great physical shape and yet THIS – this disease is how my body decided to repay me for all of my effort and hard work. So I have been mad at it and because it just hurts so damn much so much of the time and because it never seems to do what I want it to do, I have been ignoring it. For years, I have done anything in my power to simply ignore my body and the messages it is trying to send me – about how to care for myself and it.
Cannabis has made me much more aware of my body and the things that it has been trying to tell me. I am finally stopping and listening when I realize that I am overdoing it. I am making sure to get out for a walk each and every day, to get my body moving again. I have started actually doing yoga and stretching – maybe not every day, but certainly a lot more than ever before. It makes me mindful of my body and I seem to have begun to forgive it. I am trying to work with it and not against it and that seems to be agreeing with both me and my body. I look forward to learning more, trying different things and continuing to find relief with cannabis.
It has been a game changer for me – and truthfully I am now liking the game a lot more than before!
Tonight, I am a guest of Brain Injury Radio – Hosted by Lisa Dryer. I know it is last minute, BUT if you happen to have nothing better to do on your Saturday night – CALL in and chat with us. S
8:30 EST/6:30 MST/5:30 PST
I would love to hear from you and answer any questions you might have. If on the other hand, you actually have a life and have plans for your Saturday night, you can listen to the show by going to BrainInjuryRadio.com. Starting tomorrow the show will be up so you can listen.
**This is my personal blog and all opinions are my own. I am not a doctor, nor do I play one here on my blog. The content here is for informational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended to replace the advice of medical professionals. Be sure to contact your doctor before trying any new medications/vitamins/supplements, physical activities or therapies **