What is BBH with MS?


What is BBH?


This might seem like an odd choice for a blog title, but for me, it is a funny (and powerful) reminder to always be strong; to look for the positive, and reasons to laugh and smile!

Where did it come from?

For some reason, throughout my life, people have always felt a “need/desire/right” to make comments about me.  Many times I “think”  they are compliments (but maybe not always.)  When I met my boyfriend, Shawn, he began to notice that there were a few “topics” that seemed to come up a bit more frequently than others….Although it would SEEM to make sense to explain in order, that’s not the way I am going to go about this.  Probably because I can “explain” the second two much more than the first.


Because of the MS, my lack of feeling from my waist down, and many issues with balance, my footwear became a HUGE issue.  Gone are all the wonderful (fashionable) boots with heels, wedges or ANYTHING that raised my heel even a centimeter.  I had to give up all my flip-flops…to some that might not be a big deal, but for me, I LIVED in flip-flops, and like Carrie Bradshaw cherished her Manolo Blahniks, my impressive stock-pile spanned from years of finding “just the right pair” each summer.  YES, I revered my collection of cheap summer sandals, named from the sound they make as they slap between ones foot and the floor (FANCY, I KNOW!)  And I was faced with the dilemma, what foot attire, would allow me to avoid the dreaded “frumpy-mommy” stage, I certainly did NOT want to resort to hitting the town in Easy Spirit sneakers (or some other shoe found on nurses in hospital wards, all across the nation – NOT THAT THERE IS ANYTHING WRONG WITH THAT!:)

And then I found them…the PERFECT pair of boots, they were black, leather BORN boots, with white stitching that gave them a bit more appeal than just plain black.  The soles were flat, the instep perfectly coddled my aching feet, and they looked GREAT with almost EVERY outfit I wear.  About 2 months after being diagnosed, I began wearing them, EVERY day, EVERYWHERE, and apparently my choice was a good one, because people commented, for the next 4 years….A LOT.  I have a sneaking suspicion that the reason I was NOT able to replace them when at last, they could be worn no more, was because I had told EVERYONE that asked, what brand they were and where to get them.  They had bought them ALL, and there are NONE left for me!  SOOO, hence, BOOTS!


Throughout the forty-two years of my life, I have had MANY different hairstyles (think my favorite would have to be my Flock of Seagulls look) but the one I have right now has been with me for quite some time.  It fits my lifestyle, wash and wear…and it looks better the longer I don’t shower (no REALLY it does!)  But again, people notice, and comment, or at least ask “where do you get your hair done?”  I joke that my hairdresser should comp me my cuts as I have brought MANY new customers her way since I met her back in 1992.  I don’t think that it is anything too unique or interesting, but it seems to draw attention.

and on to the last….


Even though it is the first “B” (Boobs, Boots and Hair) I left it for last, because I can’t really explain this one.  I suppose if it had come from my brief foray into the world of on-line dating (after the divorce) and that the comments/compliments had come from the men I went on dates with, that would be one thing.   But NO, these are made by women, and not necessarily drunk women (unless ladies are frequenting the grocery store in middle of the day, smashed.)  There have been the times when sharing the bathroom with fellow gamblers at a casino, I have had the boobs (and how great and perky they look in a particular shirt or dress) discussed by complete strangers, but I have also had the topic brought up in odd places, like said grocery store, or once even the gas station.  It makes NO sense to me.  For as outspoken and “inappropriate” as I may be, I can NOT fathom commenting on another woman’s breasts.  Heck, I didn’t even mutter  a single thing when one of my closest friends called me over to her house for a “viewing” of her NEW (and supposedly improved) boobies.  So it really doesn’t make sense, but it happens, and not just once, but over and over again.

And so Shawn started to tease me about these encounters, making comments on how GREAT I looked in the boots, or on a REALLY bad leg day (what I call days when the pain is unbearable) he would point out “well at least your hair looks fabulous or when I had a very drunk man poor a beer all over the front of my shirt, “boy, those ladies are right, your boobs DO look fantastic!”  And that is how it began, we now constantly refer to my general appearance (my look or style maybe) as


9 Replies to “What is BBH with MS?”

  1. I grew up on Mercer Island-now in MA. . LOVE what you write ! I do wear the Depends Flex Fit-sm/med, and, luckily they don’t show when I am wearing Skinny Jeans. How the hell do you keep your balance on a Segway ? I am still walking ( after 36 years ) sometimes with a cane-long distances maybe a walker-but, I could no more balance on one of those things–I would kill myself !I am 5’10”, 150 lbs. MA legalized pot, but, there is no where to get it !
    Keep writing !!

    1. Hey Polly!

      Thanks! Where in MA? My folks have retired to Martha’s Vineyard so we head back there every year in the summer:)

      Ok – so I KNOW you are NOT going to believe me but I SWEAR that the Segway is SO much easier than you could ever imagine. NO REAlLY it is. In the four years that I rode it around the most common comment I would get would be something similar “How in the world can you balance on that?” Which ALWAYS led to me offering to let them try (I know, a bit weird – me offering to share what was effectively my version of a scooter or wheelchair) But I would grab my cane off the front, climb off, and give them my 30 sec instructional course. This happened dozens and dozens of times, and we are talking people of ALL shapes, sizes and ages and not a SINGLE one fell or failed to figure it out within the first few seconds.

      I do often have other MSers wonder about being able to stand on it. For me, my issues were my legs not moving when I tried to tell them too, AND balance. SO standing on it worked and the mechanism in the Segway that allows you to NOT fall (How Segways Work) helped ME with MY own balance. Don’t know if that makes any sense but it just worked. Plus I looked like the crazy kooky mom that I had always been before the MS:)

      I’ll keep writing if you keep reading and wearing those depends. I want to try the new Poise that I have seen on tv – maybe they won’t be so noticeable in the skinny jeans:)



  2. Will you be my new best friend!?!?

    I love the way you talk/write! I think if I’d get over my “I hate writing since I’ve been paralyzed on my left side two times because of my MS and I can’t feel my fingers anymore and my typing sucks” hang up, I’d write kind of like you – which is the way I actually talk – and I think we could have a lot of fun if we were friends! Or maybe I’m crazy?!?!

    At any rate I love your voice and I love your blog and I’m so glad I found you from the article/piece you wrote on that MS health website newsletter that I just read. I can’t remember the exact name of the site or newsletter and I just got an iPhone- my first – and I don’t know how to use it and I’m afraid if I quit typing this to look for the exact name then this comment will be deleted before I can post it and I’ll have one more reason not to write. It’s happened to me a couple of times since I got this stupid phone. And this typing stuff is exhausting – especially when you only have one good hand, but I digress.

    1. Hey Kristen!

      Hahahaha! I can certainly empathize with the “new phone” syndrome – been there done that. Have you tried the talk to text feature to type out emails and other things? I have become a huge fan of it (except when the talk to text decides to fuck with me and switches words – like “cock” instead of “cock”. My fourteen year old even dictated a 7 page term paper on his “notes app” then emailed it to himself, cut and paste to a word doc – printed it out and turned it in – all without ever typing a word:)

      Thanks so much for all of your kind world. Nice to hear that there are folks out there that “love my voice” – pretty sure there are plenty that don’t 🙂
      And btw – you are no more crazy than the rest of us:)

      I look forward to keeping in touch! I hope you will stick around for more of my adventures:) Plenty more to come I’m sure!:)


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