I think that just about sums up how I am feeling at this point! I DO NOT think of myself as COMPLETELY tech/computer illiterate, and from EVERYTHING I read and watch (YouTube really is amazing, WHO takes the time to VIDEO tape themselves fixing their broken door handle on a 2003 VW Eurovan and then POST it?!?!?!?!? but that is a different story….) I keep reading and being told just how “easy” it is to start a blog….ok….maybe….for someone who doesn’t give a rats ass about how it looks, doesn’t care about the style, layout, color schemes, font selections and all that fancy stuff. BUT I DO!!!! I have been thinking and dreaming about this blog for a REALLY long time, and in MY mind, I know exactly what I want, but it seems….I CAN’T have it! I suppose I could if I had the money to pay someone else to do it for me, but between paying to have my domain registered; went for the 3 years (….I’m optimistic,) to then paying a hosting site to avoid having my URL include “wordpress” in it (…I’m picky,) to then finally breaking down and signing up for an hour of “tech-help” from said host site (…I’m desperate) I have no more “discretionary income” to put forth into this endeavor. If my hopes and dreams come true….and people actually like/read/follow the blog, and I get some random companies wanting to place ads, or review products, or how ever else one MIGHT make money off of a blog, then I would definitely throw a bit more money into the pot, but at the moment, that just ain’t happening, and that is leading to tears and frustration.
I WANT it to be good, after all, I am asking anyone and everyone I know to visit the site, to read what I have to say; but no matter how good the writing is, or how funny the stories might be (pretty sure there will be SOME that enjoy my up-coming Booty Call post) or how well I convince others to have a positive outlook on things, the reality is….FIRST IMPRESSIONS DO COUNT! And if I can’t make this aesthetically pleasing, to represent ALL that I want it to be, then I am afraid I am setting myself up for failure.
I DID take the advise of a friend (who knows a LOT about tech stuff, the internet, and creating successful sites) when he said, just start blogging, get your stuff out there. He explained that the look of the blog can evolve, things tweaked, added, fixed….hell he said I could change the whole look of the blog every month if I wanted to (ask IF I could do that!) And I am glad that I listened to him, because it does feel good to know that I have at least started, that I am beginning to try to introduce myself and my story to all of you. BUT, there is so much to it; I have so much to say (shocking I KNOW) and I find myself spending the time I allot each day to “blog,” working on the layout issues, rather than writing, and then getting more frustrated and annoyed at myself for doing that, rather than spending time letting everyone get to know me.
if you can all bear with me, I promise, there are so many stories that I want to share….some that have absolutely NO relevance to the fact that I have MS (finding out my 12-year-old daughter was being “cyber-bullied” and discovering the inner MOMMA-BEAR-BITCH in me, that wanted to rip the fingernails off the young hands that typed those mean and hurtful words) to others that have EVERYTHING to do with the disease and how it has changed my life (going from running 5-7 miles, six days a week to needing a cane to get from my car to the school entrance in less than 6 months and seeing the pity on people’s face as that change happened.)