I have FINALLY decided to take the wheel in fighting back against the chronic pain that decided to set up camp in my life! Last week I wrote about my first experiences with using Cannabis & CBD for my MS (Multiple Sclerosis) pain. This week I talk about trying another product AND have I got a story for you! When I started this journey to try and find out if Cannabis and/or CBD oil could help, I was instantly adamant that I wanted CBD high and THC low products. I didn’t want to get “high.” I figured that it was mainly because I don’t want to feel “under the influence” throughout my day, wanted to have a clear mind and be able to focus. It made sense, so I didn’t really think too hard about the “why” of my feelings, just that the voice in my mind kept saying – “NOPE, don’t wanna get stoned.” I would soon learn an important lesson.
Last week, I was super excited to be sharing my story about this topic. I figured that there had to be many other chronic pain suffers with some of the same questions, and perhaps some that could provide feedback on what has worked (or hasn’t worked) for them. I heard from so many people, here on the blog, on Facebook, Twitter & Instagram, end even a few emails. I was blown away with how much information I instantly had at my disposable. Even more valuable than all the articles and sites that were shared were the personal stories and accounts. For me, I can read about the chemical process, the science behind Cannabis, medical trials, and details about specific products but I don’t really absorb it. Hearing about others in similar situations and what they use helped a lot . This boosted my resolve to see this one out, to continue to research and try different products, forms and varying levels of CBD and THC.
One of the topics that came up quite a bit was those sharing that it is a combination of CBD AND THC that offers the best relief from their pain. They pointed out that feeling relaxed/happy didn’t seem like such a bad thing when answering my question “did the THC make you feel high/wacky?” I can certainly concur – happy ALWAYS rocks! So armed with a bit more information (and even a few recommendations for specific strains and products) I made a return trip to MY pot shop (how I now think of them:)
Just prior to heading over there, I had emailed my new MMJ BFF (Alyssa) a link to my post, with reviews of the products she had helped me pick out on visit number one. GUESS WHAT! Before I even got there, she had shared my blog with both the store manager AND their marketing department! She was in a meeting when I got there BUT she came out and introduced me to the manager (Jason) and assured me that he would “take care of me”….and he did! Just like my MMJ BFF, he was super knowledgable and helpful and was very patient with me while I fumbled to remember all the questions that I had gathered thanks to all the awesome MSers and others that reached out to me!
I have to say – that was pretty fucking awesome – pretty sure that is the closest to celebrity status I have ever felt!!!
The first thing that I asked about was Mr. Moxey’s Mints. I had seen on Twitter that they had just come out with a new flavor – PEPPERMINT. I am quite fond of Peppermint and this sounded like a great solution to the fact that I had really liked their product (handy and discreet for out and about needs) but hated the Ginger flavor. Lucky me, they had it in stock, and I quickly added it to my purchases. The results were great – LOVED the taste and it does seem to help with the pain! I am pretty sure that this product will always be on my “MUST BUY” list for all future visits to the shop.
Next – I wanted to try and find another vape option, but one with a bit higher level of THC. Jason was super helpful in laying out my options and after my chat with him, I have added a few more things to the “MMJ WISH LIST!” Since they didn’t have the specific strain I had come in asking about, I decided to go with another FairWinds vape product (Omnita Rx/Blue Dream) Since I had liked the first one I got from them which was higher in CBD & lower in THC (10:1 CBD/THC) and just wanted slightly more THC this (1:1 CBD/THC) seemed it might be a good option.
….UNTIL I arrived home with new vape– took 2 drags and then went through 2 1/2 hours of HELL!!!!
WELL….maybe not hell, but an amazingly annoying and at times more than slightly freaky and unpleasant afternoon.
I now remember why it is that I have NOT smoked pot in the past -have never ever felt any desire too, even after it became legalized here in Washington and is often something that is around when we are camping or off playing with friends. Here is why: even though what I selected was in their CBD section and was still LOWER levels of THC (according to my new pot shop friends) I completely freaked out. I always talk about the “voice in my head” and have always assumed that everyone has that internal voice. BUT I think mine might be a bit more talkative and demanding. In my day to day life, I am used to it- I can live with the EVER present voice and manage to ignore it when needed. BUT when I tried the new vape oil and almost immediately began to feel what I would assume would be described as stoned, that voice was put into high speed (think the “Chipettes singing “Shake It Off“) and wouldn’t shut the fuck up!!!!
****SHORT SIDE NOTE- Shawn recommends clicking the three links in this part of the story….he assures me that each of my selections make the whole story just that more funny:)****
So although I WAS feeling moments of relaxation and relief from the pain,it was overshadowed by the voice and growing paranoia. I even began to think that my new pot shop buddy had intentionally given me something that would get me high just to fuck with me:)
This all lasted for about 3 hours with me looking at the clock at least 100 times just wishing that my mind would clear and the voice would shut up:( Although I wanted it to be over, I also got myself worked up into a tizzy that it HAD to stop before anyone got home (Shawn OR the kids.) I was absolutely certain that if they did arrive they would KNOW instantly that I was “weed wacky” and would start fucking with me. Then I started thinking about all the things that they could mess with me about and the worrying and freaking out would start all over again. **Turns out I was right – While laying in bed last night, Shawn and I were talking about the vape and how it has been helping. I had read him thia post earlier in the evening and JUST before he faded off to sleep he mumbled “you know it’s too bad I didn’t get home before you shut the voice up because I definitely would have taken a video.” SEE!!!!! I KNEW that they would mess with me:)
The WORST part is that the pain DID get better- a LOT better, but maybe that is only because my mind and the damn voice was in overdrive and just didn’t have time to remember the pain. Remember or not, it had definitely felt better, which left me wondering which is worse? The pain or the paranoia? (Brought back memories of my post Does Being Vain Trump Being In Pain? When it finally DID go away and my mind stopped racing I was left with one of the WORST headaches I have ever had. I guess my mind was just exhausted from all the over thinking and paranoia shit:)
I woke up in the morning feeling sad and frustrated. It HAD helped with the pain but I sure as hell didn’t want to go through that again. Maybe Cannabis would not be the route to pain relief for me, maybe yet another pain remedy was going to let me down. But then I returned to the amazing world of MS FB support and my blog followers and I began to see that maybe it wasn’t all doom and gloom and maybe my new choice of vape oil wasn’t all pure evil – but rather maybe I just took too much of it, or too quickly.
I’m not going to lie – I did a full Spicoly thing on the vape pen – pull in a deep drag, then hold it in for as long as possible and then exhale it. It seems that isn’t necessary when you are talking about vaping CBD oil. One FB friend said JUST SMALL DRAGS- start with one small one and then WAIT a bit and if pain is going down but not much/enough, try another SMALL drag.. OK so I DID in fact do too much. For the rest of the week I gave this a shot – and…..IT IS HELPING!!!! Like there are moments when the pain level is down….down enough to be thinking about and appreciating things rather than just constantly thinking ABOUT the pain and worrying about being able to accomplish things.
This weekend we took the boat out for our second time but unlike our maiden voyage, I had my vape pen with me and about 2 ½ hours after my first drag of the day I took two more puffs (small) and found myself REALLY noticing our surroundings – not as in Double Rainbow Man bliss, just had time to THINK about what I was seeing and what I was doing. The ability to feel present in the moment is something that has been missing for a really long time. When living with chronic pain, it often becomes all consuming. If you are not thinking directly ABOUT the pain you spend your time and energy is worrying about being able to complete things, making it through to the end of some task or obligation or just simply getting through the day.
We then followed our morning of boating with a trip to the casino for a birthday celebration. A few SMALL drags before we headed in, along with a few during the course of the evening did an amazing job at keeping the pain & spasticity at bay! The fact that smoking is allowed in the casinos made it so I felt way less self conscious about using it, especially in a public place. It will be interesting to see how I feel in other situations/settings but at the time, I didn’t even think about it. I was simply taking my medicine to relieve the pain.
All in all I really do have to acknowledge that there is improvement. Just look at my weekend. A trip out on the boat, a night at the casino that didn’t end until AFTER 2am and then Sunday morning I was able to get up and head down to the college to take my oldest out for brunch. Given the late night and all our activities the day before, I would have expected that my pain would be off the charts and that I would have spent a lot of time THINKING about it, and just trying to get through the day. BUT nope – I was OK – as in laughing to the point of tears on more than one occasion – OK. Happy to jump out of the car and be the one to pick up a few items in the store – OK. Arrived home and tackled some laundry and cooked (and cleaned up) dinner – OK.
What I have learned thus far is that there IS a reason that I keep saying “don’t want to get high/” Seems it doesn’t agree with me (or the stupid voice) OR I am an extreme case of a pothead lightweight:) During the whole lovely experience I kept thinking “yup, THIS is exactly what it has been like in the past and is the reason that I do NOT like marijuana.” But now that my head is clear again, and I have been using the vape oil for the remainder of the week (following my NEW instructions of SMALL puffs) and I have found some relief…
I am even more excited to continue to learn about Cannabis and CBD oil and how it can help me rock my BBH once again!!!!
**This is my personal blog and all opinions are my own. I am not a doctor, nor do I play one here on my blog. The content here is for informational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended to replace the advise of medical professionals. Be sure to contact your doctor before trying any new medications/vitamins/supplements, physical activities or therapies **