I want each and every one of you, that follows my blog; all the people that have reached out with kind word, words of encouragement and those that have asked for more…I AM still here and I DO have SO much more to say! So why the LONG periods of silence? It is NOT because I don’t want to blog. It is NOT because I don’t think about blogging. It is NOT because I don’t have anything to write about. Believe me, it will be a LONG time before I run out of words and stories. The truth is, once again, I have bitten off more than I can chew. I always believe that I can do it all, get it done, stay on top of things. BUT yah know what, it turns out that is complete and utter BULLSHIT. I CAN’T always get it all done and I DO get buried, swamped and overwhelmed. But more than that I get completely FRUSTRATED that I have to admit to this fault in my character. I don’t want to let anyone down, and it SUCKS when at the end of the day, as I lay in bed, my mind is always filled to the brim with ALL that I didn’t get done.
BUT then I remind myself; I have changed…or am TRYING too, anyway. I don’t judge others. I don’t think that ever, once in my life, did I think “hhhmmm, that person is a loser because they didn’t get everything on their to-do list accomplished.” Since starting my blog, I have found SO many amazing bloggers, some with MS, some with other crappy diseases and some just amazingly strong and humorous mothers; all with an incredible talent of writing, but more importantly the ability to find the reasons to laugh and smile at the crap life deals you. I read their posts, about the trials and tribulations that they encounter day in and day out, and I empathize with them; mainly because of the way they choose to look at these situations in life. I laugh at their stories, but I also KNOW what it is that they are talking about; the sheer chaos of life. I immediately think “what wonderful people, to be able to be so open and honest about ALL the shit that goes on; to admit to their “failures” and laugh about it.”
So why can’t I do the same for myself. After all, I AM the most important person in MY life, and I deserve to be able to “go easy” on myself. So, I will take a deep breathe, I will get the projects that I have pending at work completed, I will get a handle on our new “back to school, starting sports, driving around like crazy” schedule and THEN, I will blog. It may be a while until I can mange to fit a post in every day or two, but I am going to STOP stressing about it, and HOPE that everyone out there, that HAS read about my “pee-problems,” knows that I am STILL full of shit, doesn’t judge me for my poop discretions, and is happy for me for having GREAT sex, WILL be patient and stick around. I think one of my biggest fears is losing all of you! After all, I feel like this is JUST the beginning, and there is SO much more to come!
Speaking of which….I have an AMAZING announcement! My blog is getting “plastic surgery!” I found an incredible mommy blogger (Julie @ http://www.juliedeneen.com/) who does design work. Once I get my homework for her completed, she will be helping me to FINALLY make this blog LOOK the way that I want it to, or possibly even BETTER than what I have wanted. In talking with her, along with some other folks, it seems as if you all may not even be able to SEE some of the things I have tried to put on here. For instance, I had an awesome parody of me created that is supposed to be on the right of my most recent posts, but it seems as if for many it is simply a broken link. I have NO idea how to fix that….but Julie does. And so with her assistance, I am hoping that VERY soon, I will have on my hands the
I will let you all know when the “surgery” begins, but hope to post once or twice more before then!